Dear Avid/Digi, I would like a refund....

[The Egg]

I have owned Pro Tools in one form or another since 2002. That's nearly ten years! Anyway, I have not written or produced one "Hit" song since owning this software. I believe I should get all my money back and I should be allowed to keep this useless software. This software is CLEARLY faulty and somehow my songs aren't becoming hits so I guess this is some sort of known bug? Should I post a Sandra report?

[slater05]

I think they're only option is to add a "insta-hit" quick key

[Dism]

Obviously you're doing something wrong.

Pro Tools is the industry standard, and therefore is responsible for all of the greatest sounding music and movies.

You must install it perfectly on the perfect computer, which is obviously a 12-core Mac Pro. Plus, if you don't have HD, you are definitely a non-contributing basement troll who has no valid opinion on the matter. You can't win Grammies without HD. Fact.

Just remember: if you do have HD and a 12-core Mac Pro but the software still gives you problems... Then Avid is clearly out to ruin your career and you might as well quit music altogether, because other DAWs are superior in every way except for being the industry standard. If you don't have the industry standard, you might as well kick the stool.

[crizdee]

Originally Posted by The Egg

I have owned Pro Tools in one form or another since 2002. That's nearly ten years! Anyway, I have not written or produced one "Hit" song since owning this software. I believe I should get all my money back and I should be allowed to keep this useless software. This software is CLEARLY faulty and somehow my songs aren't becoming hits so I guess this is some sort of known bug? Should I post a Sandra report?

Hi,

Did you trash the prefs and check your plugins are up to date!

Or try Ableton Live. that DAW is kicking out hits all over the the place and it never crashes and just has that polished pop sound that everyone wants.



Chris

[TCM]

You should have bought the PG-Toolkit (Producer Grammy Toolkit)

Cost just $2999, plus 15% for every "Hit" to Avid.

includes:
- the Metallica Limiter (for the loudest sound ever)
- 128 exclusive Avid Mini-Busses for immaculate feedback routing
- Neglat plugin for negative latency; listen to your sound even before you play it
- Farterizer, turn any hot air into a melodic hook line
- unlock the hidden features of your HD system to a fully fledged brand new XD system (unlimited Voices, unlimited I/O, unlimited latency compensation, runs off your iPhone)
- Briberizer, guarantees that the necessary palms are greased, so you get an instant Hit
- Prodooser of the Year Certificate signed by DTS
- one exclusive dinner with Tamara

[Dirt_]

"- unlock the hidden features of your HD system to a fully fledged brand new XD system (unlimited Voices, unlimited I/O, unlimited latency compensation, runs off your iPhone)"

I just about choked when I read that. HILARIOUS!!

Then I started thinking.... someday... in a long time, this will likely be true

There's apparently more computing horsepower in an iPhone than all combined computing power used to land a man on the moon.

[TOM@METRO]

Originally Posted by The Egg

I have owned Pro Tools in one form or another since 2002. That's nearly ten years! Anyway, I have not written or produced one "Hit" song since owning this software. I believe I should get all my money back and I should be allowed to keep this useless software. This software is CLEARLY faulty and somehow my songs aren't becoming hits so I guess this is some sort of known bug? Should I post a Sandra report?

Clearly you haven't heard,

To make a small fortune in the music industry>>>>>> start with a large fortune.

[djjazzy41]

Originally Posted by The Egg

I have owned Pro Tools in one form or another since 2002. That's nearly ten years! Anyway, I have not written or produced one "Hit" song since owning this software. I believe I should get all my money back and I should be allowed to keep this useless software. This software is CLEARLY faulty and somehow my songs aren't becoming hits so I guess this is some sort of known bug? Should I post a Sandra report?

You have to quit talking to Ed.......

Originally Posted by Dism

Obviously you're doing something wrong.

Pro Tools is the industry standard, and therefore is responsible for all of the greatest sounding music and movies.

You must install it perfectly on the perfect computer, which is obviously a 12-core Mac Pro. Plus, if you don't have HD, you are definitely a non-contributing basement troll who has no valid opinion on the matter. You can't win Grammies without HD. Fact.

Just remember: if you do have HD and a 12-core Mac Pro but the software still gives you problems... Then Avid is clearly out to ruin your career and you might as well quit music altogether, because other DAWs are superior in every way except for being the industry standard. If you don't have the industry standard, you might as well kick the stool.

Sounds like the video made months ago with "Studio Timi". I was waiting for you to type "Pro Tuels" or "Bitchin' Preamp" somewhere............

Originally Posted by TCM

You should have bought the PG-Toolkit (Producer Grammy Toolkit)

Cost just $2999, plus 15% for every "Hit" to Avid.

includes:
- the Metallica Limiter (for the loudest sound ever)
- 128 exclusive Avid Mini-Busses for immaculate feedback routing
- Neglat plugin for negative latency; listen to your sound even before you play it
- Farterizer, turn any hot air into a melodic hook line
- unlock the hidden features of your HD system to a fully fledged brand new XD system (unlimited Voices, unlimited I/O, unlimited latency compensation, runs off your iPhone)
- Briberizer, guarantees that the necessary palms are greased, so you get an instant Hit
- Prodooser of the Year Certificate signed by DTS
- one exclusive dinner with Tamara

I can't even type I'm laughing so hard!

Originally Posted by TOM@METRO

Clearly you haven't heard,

To make a small fortune in the music industry>>>>>> start with a large fortune.

Now THERE'S some advice we can use!! ^^^

OMG I have not stopped laughing since starting to read the thread. Just what I needed to kick off my Sunday morning. Absolutely LOVE this stuff; it's great to be a musician!

[albee1952]

"...... it's great to be a musician! "
Yeah, we get to hang around with groupies and drummers all day Don't bother with the Sandra....girl can't sing worth a damn anyway. I'm still working on perfecting the talent plugin Still thinkin' about suing the company that made my monitors. They promised to make my stuff sound great!

[The Egg]

Wow, I think we may be able to solve this problem yet. So if I take my number of processors down by one, throw my Farterizer into SBD mode (Silent But Deadly), trash my prefs, then turn off Pro Tools completely and use ableton live I should be good to go? This may be a stupid question, but am I gonna need some kind of mic for all this? A friend of mine said he really liked my stuff but he said it would sound better if I put a High Pass Filter on the master bus and roll off 16khz at 24 db/octave. Anybody ever tried this? He's a really smart guy. He kind of laughed when he told me that, so I take that to mean that this is a very common tactic used by all the pros and he was laughing at the fact that I didn't know about it yet. I guess I should've been HPFing all my mixes like that. But hey, live and learn, right?