Digi dumping Mac in favor of Univac,rumor or humor

[Guitarman2k2]

Phineas T Digi, the reclusive designer of Pro Tools and silent partner to Digidesign leaked news that was destined for release at the 2004 winter NAMM show, Digi is abandoning support of both Mac and Windoze platforms in favor of the Univac. Mr Digi goes on to say the with the discovery of the fact that it only takes 50,000 punch cards to record 1 minute of stereo audio and that paper prices would be plummeting in light of new concessions by the current administration to the lumber industry paper punch cards would be far cheaper than hard disk space for at least the next 5 years. "Rumors of deforestation of the northwest due to the next Steely Dan release are greatly exaggerated" said mr digi. Besides the low price of storage, another feature of the Univac would be that warm tube sound generated by the nearly 10,000 vacuum tubes in each unit. A side effect would be savings on studio heating and hot water bills (an optional hot water heater is being developed for the sumer NAMM show).

The news swept the audio industry. On the Reckit Pit one forum leader, mixed-up-man said "I sure am glad I never gave up recording all of my major label projects on my pre war german Blaupunkt wire recorder. Besides who needs band width beyond the 200hz to 800hz frequency provided by this media as well as that nice warm sound created by my 1930's Neumann crystal mic. From now on i'm going to call Stereo and HI Fi Alziheard and make fun of those who use it."

Another quote from a famous engineer and audio gear sales outlet owner in the north east was, "i don't care what they use to record it or even if the artist has any talent at all as long as the signal chain costs at least 5 figures and they buy it from me. But i didn't say that". He said this while putting a steel spike through the digi 001, Korg triton, MPC 3000 and mackie mixer that the Neptunes (who now dominate the pop charts and earn over $150k per track) used to start their careers.

Burlington mills says they will immediately have reams of punch cards available at local music outlets and groove tubes will be marketing matched tube sets for the Univac in packages of 10,000.

[andrej770]

The funny thing is that half the folks on this board don't even know what a Univac is!

[Guitarman2k2]

The funny thing is that half the folks on this board don't even know what a Univac is!

You know I should've thought about that .

[ozinga]

You know you two are funnier(except guitarman's joke).How do you know that? Did you ask everyone here?
Seems you two have a happier life insulting people with some knowledge thats less useful than a dead ratt's.. why not form a band and call it "We know what's a Univac"?

[Paul Nelson]

Thanks for spending the time to write something funny!
As a Protools usr looking square into the eyes of 50
I got a real kick out of it!

[PTUser NYC]

OK Great.

I'm sure the warm sound of all those tubes will make the mix bus sound MUCH better. But I think that since the computer will be so big it might be hard to take on the road.

So what would you do if you were... er... Turing?

[RobMacki]

I heard (from a reliable source) that the long awaited Wax Cylinder Plug will be shown at NAMM with an upgrade incentive!

It's only a move to be more competitive with the Native competition (Commodore 64) which is putting Digi out of business!!

Basic has "unlimited" track count, RTAS, and VST!!

[Guitarman2k2]

OK Great.

I'm sure the warm sound of all those tubes will make the mix bus sound MUCH better. But I think that since the computer will be so big it might be hard to take on the road.

So what would you do if you were... er... Turing?

Yes the mix bus will be much warmer (should be able to make hot soup over it actually) . As for the portable version of the new Univac there is one slated for spring release that will require only 2 flatbed semis to move. Through creative use of the tubes dual filaments, they will be able to run this version with only 5,000 tubes. Although there will be some loss of warmth users will appreciate the portablility. (make sure you have a 20 footer available for punch cards if you're recording a live concert though).

[LurkerAtTheThreshold]

So what would you do if you were... er... Turing?

You would buy a Turing machine of course.

I'd say the number of people who get this joke is a subset of those who know what Univac was.

[douglas roberts]

As for the portable version of the new Univac there is one slated for spring release that will require only 2 flatbed semis to move. Through creative use of the tubes dual filaments, they will be able to run this version with only 5,000 tubes.

Typical Digi! Expecting us to upgrade from something that they were touting as the ultimate workstation not too long ago, you think they had this planned all along!? I'm going to hold out as long as I can and see what overpriced upgrade offer they come up with, or until they start using those new transistor thingys. Sometimes I wish I'd never thrown my Difference Engine in the garbage