I've never used SSD4, but did lots of drums with a Roland kit and Superior Drummer, EZdrummer and Addictive Drums. One thing I found myself doing in almost every case was going into the "Bleed" settings and pulling the snare bleed in the overheads way down(if not, I would always get too much snare with the overheads where they belonged). My other preference is to NOT use the room sound from the plugin and substitute my own "room"(a reverb plugin). What this does for me is; it makes the drums sound different than the other 1000 people using the same plugin
If this doesn't help, maybe it will spark some ideas that will
BTW, if you put up a real hi-hat and ride cymbal(with 2 mics) it gets better. If you add all real cymbals and decent overhead mics, it gets better still(something about the real brass and mics can add a certain "air" that doesn't quite happen when its all in the box)
